I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
