Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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