we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
