Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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