I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
