No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
