dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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