U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
did you just send me my own nude
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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