she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
