does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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