got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
