So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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