i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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