i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
