scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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