I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
