that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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