Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
