Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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