Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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