i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
