I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
