My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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