Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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