im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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