Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
