that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
