We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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