i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
