The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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