Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
