Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
