just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
