I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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