how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
