do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
