I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have tasted many bathrooms
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
