It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
