I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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