You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
