Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
