I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
