yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
