butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
