your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize