It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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