So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
