I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
