Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
