yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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