How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
