Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
